artistry or just insanity?

my buddie katheren foundthis and called me.. for those who care.. for those whoread..

tell me how this relates to the me.

The suvivor who has accomplished her recovery faces life with few illusions butoften with gratitude. Her view of life may be tragic, but for that very reasonshe has learned to cherish laughter. She has a clear sense of what is importantand what is not. Having encountered the fear of death, she knows how to celebrate life
--Human
1992:213

right on human... right on...

girl friend in a comma i kno i kno its serious

lilacs have sucha strong sent the shit of the world could never influx my nose...



i dont think ive ever been more content.. i say that abit.. but this time its tru...
if u really want somethign.. go do it...
for u
and for everyone around you....


and dont let ur self get used....

im change things.. one recycled cardboard chair at a time



muah

come tu sai l'amore non chiamara tu?

walking home at 330 in the morning
its one of my favorite things todo
my head phones and me
we could save the world
at least we are saving our selfs first

its that soft crystalized
snow
sticking to your hair making it all
white that brings my
inner love to the surface

may be the snowflakes will forgive me of my recent sins

but i dont feel bad about them....

am i truely a sinner now?

i feel you,
you who i have never met
its soo strong
your so strong
with every others kiss i come
closer to you
im staying chaste these days

i hope ill still be your prize
ur other side

i see u looking at the stars
its my mirror
its you

i cant wait till we are togethter
then we can be one
and break off in to a billion pieces
like the shattered glass of a store front window
with the brick punching thru

ill bite my lip for u
and scream your name
the best lover ill ever have
the last lover ill ever have
the only true love ill ever have

its great to kno your alive
im following fate this time
not my free will
Iago got screwed and
im tried of being locked up
by chains of egoism
and not chains of love

ive retired my lustful attires
my dietary needs
im connected
we are on the wire

im not impatients
im a rose

novicane for the soul







i couldnt tell u that im sad cus im not
but i kno i feel guilty
for not feeling guilty

in some circles ive been bad
in others ive been reaaaaaaaaallly good
where am i ?
who am i jumping rope with?

benjamin franklin want to france
to teach the ladies how to dance
first the heel then the toe
turn around turn around out u go


i remeber those days jumping on black top
talking about using the word shit
wearing head bands and stretch pants
with sweat shrits
and glasses
gettin undressed in a locker room
being the only one with a real bra
due to the size of the mosters


i really dont kno why
tired? yea.. . ur probbably wite
but ive lost alot from those times


im emotionaly detatched
ive been overly attached all my life.. and now went its time to feel
time to absorb the passion that someone else wants to
whole heartedly devoire me in
id rather make out with a concrete block wall

am i dead in side?
i feel alive
im really content with everything
i cant say that im happy due to my belief that happyness is a journey
and the story will end when u get there
and im not there yet.. or ready to be there


im ok with being alone
i used to need people
have high standards
bleed for anyone i knew
for the love... that i had for human kind
ha
ha
and ha
but those were broken
and now i cant stand people
i did bleed and what happend?
oh people pissed in my veins

am i just being cautious of my surroundings?
i donno
i kno where i want to go .. i kno where i might be heading
i kno theres some thing i have to do or id be dead

i kno the next time i say the real i love you, my other half
it will be the last





i kno i have to loose soem weight and go to home depot
cus its written on my arm



am i afraid of love .. due to the hurt that i kno i will recieve?
due to a diet of passionless people ive damned up the river
and tap the flow for my other true loves


i say i dont believe in love.. i say all sorts of shit... i say the sky is beautiful and u never see it cus ur too damn busy looking at ur wallet or the ground beneath your feet

look up.. ull have plenty of time to be looking at the ground from below



c'est tout le mellieux, j'esprit.

you remind me of a beuatiful male
mr. jim morrison

mr. mojo rissing

blood in the streets of new haven


so ive become comfortably numb
yes comefortable u got that
theres a stupid girl shakeing her ass in front of me in a tartan skirt
its egplant and gray
banana repbublic
shes dumb
shes russian

dont u love her ways?
dont u miss her madly
dont u love me as im walking out the door?
i want that song to be abotu me


i dream of people.. of boys singing to me

something
baby im amazed
u kno love songs

ive had toomany hate songs bout me...


the last real love song i wrote i was druged out
i was in love with being in love
or what was

memories on a slushy slippery walk home alone



Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
i wish i could have seen you one last time
You don't know how lovely you are
told u how special you were
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
it funny how the world is a circle and i always fall back
And tell you I set you apart
on believing that ur my missing half
Tell me your secrets,
how is it where you are
and nurse me your questions
why was i so affraid to tell you i felt this
Oh lets go back to the start
innocence was raped
Running in circles, coming in tails
my head still spins for answers
Heads on a science apart
they screwed with your poor mind with drugs
Nobody said it was easy
its soo cold in this world sometimes
It's such a shame for us to part
we never really even started
Nobody said it was easy
i rather bleed
No one ever said it would be this hard
but its probly allin my head
Oh take me back to the start
where would we be if u were alive


I was just guessing at numbers and figures
wasting time cus i had no confidence in me
Pulling the puzzles apart
i thought i was just a mockery
Questions of science, science and progress
i got lost in the husle and bussle.. why went my eyes open
Do not speak as loud as my heart
i slept next to you and i couldnt hear
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
you did.. and you do.. every day i breath
Oh and I rush to the start
i can only fantazize a false reality
Running in circles, chasing tails
theres no cure for suicide
Coming back as we are
would you love me?

i want to be someone else or ill explode

its funny how some people dig their own hole then yell about it later and blame the world for their missfortunes but theres no such thing as luck.. u fucked ur self over kiddies.. :) sorry ..

id think ud learn by now.. but .. hell it is ur life in the end of the story


u want me well come on and break the door down

i dont wanna drive u crazy
serously
its not my intentions
but i want things said
and ill say why i need to be this way
id love to love
but the consiquence is higer than what would be the enjoy ment


i mean come on romeo
delilia has retired to shitty radio


i need to rock in my own ryythem..





be prepared to loose ur socks and virginity